^
a few time ago i found this:(it made me laugh a lot!!)
"THE POSITION"
This is dedicated to women around the world who have used a
public toilet and you men, to let you understand why we stay in too
much.
The great secret of all women is that when you are a little
girl your mom took you to the bathroom, cleaned the palette, it
covered the perimeter with toilet paper and then I explained: "Never
NEVER rely on the toilet "and then showed you the" position "that
how to balance doing as to sit on the toilet without
that the body is in contact with the palette.
"The position is one of the first lessons of life of a child,
important and necessary, must accompany the rest of
life. But even now, as adults, "the position" is terribly
difficult to maintain when your bladder is about to explode.
When "must go" in a public bathroom, you find yourself with a tail
women that makes you think that inside there's Brad Pitt. Then you add
good to wait, smiling amiably with other waiting
they, too, with legs and arms crossed. It is the position
Journal of 'me I'm doing them. "
Finally it's up to you, but my mother always comes with "the child
small that it can no longer hold back" and take the opportunity to go
forward both!
Then check under doors to see if there are legs.
Are all busy. Finally it opens up and throws him to
person leaves. Come in and you realize that there is not the key (there is
never), no matter ... Hang the bag on a hook on the door, and if not
is (no never), inspect the area, the floor is filled with liquid
not well defined and do not dare to place it there, so you hang the neck
It is very heavy, as it is full of things that we've put in, the
most of them do not use but to keep them because you never know.
Returning to the door ... Since there is no key, you must keep it with
one hand while the other will drop his pants and assumed "
position AAhhhhhh ... ... finally ...
At this point my legs begin to tremble ... because you're suspended
in air, knees bent, your trousers down you
blocking the movement, his arm outstretched which is strongly against the door
and a bag of 5 kilos around his neck. Would you like to sit, but you
had time to clean the cup or to cover with paper, in
you think that nothing happens but the voice of your mother
resounds in the head "do not ever sit on a public toilet", so
remain in the "position", but for a small miscalculation
fountain splashing on your socks! You're lucky if you wet the
shoes. Keeping the "position" requires great concentration. For
away from the mind of that trouble, try the paper roll
toilet maaa, geez ...! there is none ...! (never).
Then I pray heaven that among those 5 pounds of junk that you
held there is a poor Kleenex, but to try you leave
go to the door, thought for a moment, but you have no choice. And
just leave the door, and you qualcunola pushes a brake
sudden movement, otherwise all you will see semi-sitting in the air
pants down. NO!
Then shout "B-U-S-YYYY!!!",
continuing to put out the door with his free hand, and at that point by
assume that all those who are waiting outside and they heard
now you can leave the door without fear, no one will dare to open it
new (for us women that we respect very much) and you forgive
search for the handkerchief, would you use them a couple but you know what can
be useful in cases like these and you settle for one, do not know
never. At this very moment the light turns off automatically, but in a
cubicle so tiny you will not be so hard to find
switch! Rekindle the light in the hand of the tissue, because
the other supports his pants, counting the seconds you have left for
get out of there, because you sweat on his coat that had nowhere
hang and because this place is always a terrible heat.
Not to mention the bump caused by the stroke of the door, the pain
neck to the bag, the sweat flowing on your forehead, the sketch
stockings ... the memory of your mom...she's very ashamed
to see you, because her seat has never touched the palette
a public restroom, because they really "do not know how many diseases you may
get you here. "
But the debacle is not over ... six exhausted, when you stand
no longer feel your legs, you pull up the coating quickly and above
flush!
If not you rather not go out more to the bathroom, which
shame!
Finally go to the sink. It's all full of water and you can not
support the bag, I'll hang the shoulder, do not understand how
works on the faucet with automatic sensors and touch everything until
is finally able to wash your hands
a position from Hunchback of Notre Dame for not dropping the bag in
sink, the towel is so low that you end up drying
hands in his pants, because you do not want to waste another for Kleenex
this!
Exit passes all the other women who are still waiting with
legs crossed and at such moments you can not smile
spontaneously aware of the fact that you have been there forever
inside. You're lucky if you do not go out with a piece of toilet paper
attached to the shoe or even worse with the zipper down!
Go out and see your boy is out of the bathroom for a while and
has remained even time to read War and
Peace while you waited. "What did you take so long?" asks
irritated.
"There was much tail" you just respond.
And this is why we women go to the bathroom in groups,
for solidarity, because it keeps you a bag and coat, the other
you keep the door and the other will pass the Kleenex under the door;
so is much easier and faster because you must focus only
maintain "the position". And dignity.